The Challenge of Being Challenged

A couple of years ago I discussed from the bimah how I gauged the reaction to my sermons during the onegs after services. Over the years I have developed a rather foolproof system of determining how well my sermons are received by the congregation. It is not very scientific, but I believe it is pretty accurate. Quite simply, if I receive more compliments on my necktie than my sermon, I know that the sermon was not received as well as I had hoped. After revealing this formula during services one particular night, I was flooded with compliments on my necktie. And for several weeks afterwards, whenever I spoke in public, there was invariably someone there who complimented me on my tie.

In addition to my formula, there is another trend that I have noticed regarding people’s reactions to my sermons and Divrei Torah. Often people will approach me with comments such as, “Rabbi, your words went along great with my thinking.” Or, “what you said is exactly how I feel.” And these compliments are very nice. My grandfather, a rabbi of 40 years, used to say, “the rabbinate is not a cash business, so take all the compliments you can get.” And I am always appreciative of a kind word.

But I am heartened on a completely different level when my words are not necessarily consistent with an individual’s thinking. For example, when someone says to me, “Rabbi, I have never thought about that subject from that viewpoint before,” or “Rabbi, although I might disagree with you, I appreciate hearing an alternative perspective.” The Talmud teaches that a rabbi who is loved is a rabbi who tells the congregation what they want to hear. That comment is spoken pejoratively of rabbis who sacrifice their integrity in favor of their popularity. I understand that my words from the bimah or in public are not treated with the same respect as if they were uttered from atop Mt. Sinai – nor do I think they should be. However, I do think we learn more and attain higher understanding when we are willing to hear arguments that might differ from our own. It is not easy to accept challenges to our established ways of thinking, but when we are amenable to being challenged it is likely that we will find more avenues of growth and thought development. That is the challenge of being challenged.

And the next time I see you at an oneg, I know, you like my tie.

L’Shalom,
Jeremy Barras