A Rabbi's Reflections


“A Simple Act”

I left the chapel where the funeral had taken place in the center of Rock Hill and proceeded to guide my car into the processional to the cemetery. I had played this role hundred of times before; my thoughts began to wander to other tasks as we slowly moved, a long line of cars snaking our way through town. We passed the site of the old Rock Hill Synagogue, now a church, and a wave of sadness washed over me, reminding me that what once was is no more.

Suddenly, my thoughts were drawn back to the funeral procession, as we moved through a busy intersection. One of our police escorts, having stopped his car and gotten out to direct traffic, startled me by standing at attention with his hand over his heart as the hearse, directly behind my car, rolled though the intersection. I was touched my his sincere sign of respect, and I assumed for a moment that he must have known the woman we were burying. “What a kind gesture,” I thought.

As we continued on our way, I soon realized that something more was going on. All along our drive, traffic stopped to let us pass. Cars traveling in the opposite direction on the city streets stopped until we passed. Even when we moved onto a divided, four-lane road, vehicles in both oncoming lanes came to a complete stop in the middle of the road to show us respect. When we passed a construction site along our way, the workers stopped their tractors, and at one point several construction workers removed their hard hats and stood at attention to show respect.

I arrived at the cemetery truly moved and uplifted by this simple act of respect for the dead shown by total strangers. I was reminded of the stark contrast with the behavior of drivers during funeral processions on our Charlotte streets. Here, police have difficulty stopping traffic, cars often cut into or through funeral processions, and rarely do strangers show any respect at all for a funeral procession. Like the approach of an ambulance or other emergency vehicle, a funeral procession often appears to be an inconvenience or even an interruption in our rushed drive to succeed in our world class city.

I suspect this teaches us more about the behavior and attitudes of those who live in small towns than those who live in larger cities. There is a quaint, simple dignity to the conventions of behavior that endure in small towns. Showing respect for the dead, even when we do not know them, reflects that simplicity. We show such respect when we pause for the funeral procession that passes by. We show such respect when we visit those who mourn, uplifting them with our concern and support. We show such respect when we attend a shiva minyan, provide a meal for the bereaved, care for those who mourn.

We also show such respect at many other times, when we care and attend to those who are most in need of our caring presence.

Such simplicity and dignity teach us far more than how to show respect for the dead. Our entire beings can be infused with such lessons. Ken Yehi Ratzon - May this be God’s will. 

James M. Bennett
            

 

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