Kramer's Remarks

The Talmud tells us that on Purim, you should drink till you cannot distinguish between Haman and Mordecai. Although we don’t admit to drinking, the front page of the Voice was designed with that teaching in mind. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I’m just sorry you didn’t get to see some of the ones we rejected thinking they might have been in poor taste. 

This month’s Voice contains a great many thank yous. We are very appreciative of all of the work done by our members on behalf of Temple Beth El. I would like to add my thank you to the Board of Directors who has gone out of their way to improve our health insurance policy.

 I recently had a conversation with Moe Howard, the administrator of our new HMO policy. Coincidentally, the term HMO is actually a variation of the phrase "Hey Moe". Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe Howard who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. 

Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with the high-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the results remain the same.

Arthur: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

Moe: No. Only those you need

Arthur: Now that we joined a new HMO, will it be difficult for Temple employees to choose the doctor they want?

Moe: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don’t worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office in Gastonia.

Arthur: Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?

Moe: Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment.

Arthur: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

Moe: You’ll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Arthur: Our pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

Moe: Poke yourself in the eye.

Arthur: What should I do if I get sick while traveling?

Moe: Try sitting in a different part of the bus

Arthur: No, I mean what if I’m away from home and I get sick?

Moe: You really shouldn’t do that. You’ll have a hard time seeing your primary care physician. It’s best to wait until you return and then get sick.

Arthur: I think that I would like to see a specialist.

But my doctor insists that he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?

Moe: Hard to say, but considering that all you’re risking is the $10 co-payment, there’s no harm giving him a shot at it.

Arthur: Do you see any chance of things being different ten years from now?

Moe: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

For more great tips, come to our Purim dinner and Megillah Reading on March 8^th. Wear a costume and have fun. Happy Purim