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FAMILY
When I went to my 25th high school reunion, I was struck by the diversity of life decisions made by my classmates. After graduating from my New York area high school, I began migrating westward, and by the time of reunion had long been settled comfortably into life in Seattle. In fact, visiting my old community in Westchester County felt like a trip into unfamiliar territory. By contrast, a large percentage of my classmates still lived within 45 minutes of our old home town. One of my classmates had bought her parents’ house and continued to live in her childhood home with her husband and children, while another worked as a secretary at the high school. They had stayed at home, and brought spouses and children into the circle of their families of origin.
In moving across the country, I had to create a new family. Through work and school I met many special people who became part of the inner circle of relationships of my daily life. This pattern has repeated itself in many of the places I’ve lived as an adult. In fact, I have “adopted” mothers and fathers throughout the country. At my investiture from cantorial school, I was thrilled and blessed to have six parents in attendance!
I imagine that this is a familiar scenario for many in our congregation. After all, so many people have moved to Charlotte from other areas of the country over the years. While families of origin never lose their significance, many people create new “families” as they settle into homes hundreds or thousands of miles away from blood relatives. Neighbors, coworkers and the families of their children’s playmates become friends, confidants and support for all the challenges of daily life in a new home. And this is where the significance of our Temple family becomes even more important.
At Passover, we will read the story of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea from slavery to freedom. In leaving the homes they knew, the Israelites became a new people — a new family. Wandering in the wilderness, they had to draw together as a community and establish the new relationships that would sustain them in their journey to a new land. The Temple serves as a place for our Charlotte transplants to find a new community and establish the new family that will provide support for life here in the South. As a Caring Community, Temple Beth El becomes a resource and a gathering place in which to sustain old friendships and establish new relationships.
Whether Temple members are new to the community or have been here for generations, there are times when the need to broaden the scope of family becomes necessary. We have congregants who are isolated by physical limitations or suffer from chronic illness. Whether or not they have blood relatives in Charlotte, there is often a significant need for an “adopted” family to pitch in and provide routine daily care for an individual or respite care for the congregant’s family. That’s where Second Family comes in.
Second Family is an exciting new program initiated by Carolinas Medical Center through a grant from Duke University. Under the supervision of CMC’s Department of Pastoral Care and Education, congregations form care teams of 12 or more people to supplement the care provided by a congregant’s own family. Members of our Caring Committee are working with the professionals at CMC to establish a Temple Beth El team that will serve as a Second Family to someone in our congregation. The Second Family team is large enough so that the care does not become burdensome for any individual member of the team. And the team will work with the clergy to identify a member of the congregation whose needs match the interests and abilities of the team members to provide care.
If you are interested in becoming part of the Second Family team at Temple Beth El or know someone else who would, please leave a message for the Caring Committee at the Temple Office or speak to me. This is an important new step in expanding the scope of our Temple Beth El Caring Community.
B’shalom,
Andrew Bernard
Cantor
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