Human Sexuality Curriculum Task Force

Last spring, the New York Times Sunday magazine section carried a disturbing article entitled Friends with Benefits. It described in detail the latest trends among teenagers in dating or rather, non-dating.

The teens themselves explain that, instead of dealing with the turmoil of romantic relationships, friendships in which they can engage in casual oral sex (which, according to them, is not really sex) are simpler and preferable. I find this disturbing not only because it demonstrates profoundly risky behavior, but also because it discourages our teens from learning to establish healthy, nurturing, loving relationships.

Around the same time this article appeared, several parents of Temple Beth El teenagers approached Rabbi Schindler with concerns that such behavior was common here in Charlotte. A one-time program was offered to parents and teens to try to confront this specific issue. The Susan Kramer Healing Center offered a valuable educational program and support group this fall to address the broader challenges of parenting teenagers. But it is clear that this is an important part of a larger and more importantly on-going problem. And it is clear that we need to be proactive in addressing such a problem.

As I thought about this issue, I quickly came to realize how woefully inadequate our Religious Schools current human sexuality curriculum is. We address issues like dating, date- rape, premarital sex and homosexuality in five weeks during the ninth grade year. But this is too little, too intense and way too late. I also became aware that a number of churches offer extremely successful human sexuality courses involving both parents and their children usually beginning in the fifth grade. I knew it was time for us to study the issue and create our own human sexuality curriculum. At the very least, we owe this to our children.

We have created a human sexuality curriculum task force, a small group of congregants with a broad range of expertise in the fields of child development and education. I dont think Ive ever had the privilege of working with such a knowledge- able, insightful, passionate and focused collection of individuals.

Why is this different from the curricula taught in the public and private schools? Secular schools can certainly provide information, but they are unable to do two things that are at the center of what a religious institution does: communicate values and engage entire families. Information absent a value system will not give someone the ability to make good decisions. And because parents are the primary sex educators, fostering parent-child dialogue and giving both the tools they need to be successful is the essential beginning of a good human sexuality education.

As we begin the development of our human sexuality curriculum, the task force has set forth three goals: 1) to create dialogue between children and their parents; 2) to provide resources on Jewish values regarding human sexuality for both children and parents; and 3) to teach our children self-respect and respect for others by helping them make good decisions and deal with issues around human sexuality.

While the task force is still in the early stages of its work, we are looking to create programs for the parents of young children, and for parents and children on the middle and high school grade levels. We are consulting experts in the field, looking at other successful programs, and beginning to develop a strategy for creating and rolling out this human sexuality curriculum for our Religious School. Although participating in the program will be, of course, voluntary, it is our hope that the curriculum will prove to be an invaluable resource for our Temple Beth El community.

As the task force continues its work, look for periodic updates. Please offer us your support and your prayers as we tackle this difficult and crucial task.

L’shalom,
Andrew Bernard
Cantor